#but i was actually in the process of writing it anyway
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hello stob nation its slowgoing but im trying to write a fic that takes place in the crab in the time between sonic movie 2 and 3.... come eat this wip snippet
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#stobotnik#its slowgoing because i havent been a writer in years so the actual process of writing is very slow and also im employed so im busy or tired#but i care them 🥺#the sm1 stob stuff was a lot easier to write than this#theres just a lot more gaps to fill in here so theres more directions that the characters can go in and its hard to make it feel quite right#anyway#ily all i love how active the stobotnik tag has been i just wanted to share#😗👉👈#my writing
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hey wouldn't it be fun to give Hunter a bunch of Grimwalker things that no one but Belos knew about and everyone assumes is just Belos being cruel until they try something different and then it turns out it was actually necessary for Hunter's wellbeing?
so like one day Hunter mentions never having ice-scream or cake or really any other type of dessert. and everyone's like "that's so sad we have to get him ice-scream right away." but then Hunter spends the next couple hours being violently ill and it turns out Grimwalkers can't handle processed sugar
or he was never allowed to go to the healers when he was injured and he always had to stitch himself up (or Belos would do it sometimes if it was bad enough). and everyone's completely horrified because that's terrible and evil and what could the point of that be except to make Hunter go through more pain? and then someday he breaks a leg or something and they take him to the healers and it just. doesn't work. nothing happens. and it turns out healing magic is completely ineffective on Grimwalkers
anyway I think it would be fun to make the line between what was care and what was abuse a little blurry every now and again
#I may write a fic about this idk#anyway Belos being an unreliable narrator except sometimes so you can't just dismiss what he says you have to interrogate all of it for#essential information and it makes the whole process so much worse bc you can't just say “that's bad and shouldn't have happened to you” bc#you might be wrong actually. maybe that was right and should have happened to you. you don't know#“I regularly was made to sleep on the balcony without any bedding” and his carer/s are horrified but what if that's good for him??? they#don't know weirder things have happen. did you sleep well. did you feel rested. did you feel safe. how did you feel about it emotionally#was this packaged as a punishment or reward or just a thing you were told to do. they have to check#grimwalker#grimwalkers#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#belos#toh hunter#grimwalker things#that should be a tag can we make that a tag#tw child abuse#abuse tw#<- I don't really know what other warnings to tag for filtering purposes. if anyone knows pls tell me#nuclear war speaks
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"Oh yeah, they love you."
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(REQUESTS OPEN) Heyy :) I've had a little idea in my head for a while now about Jinx; so I thought I should write about it. Let's say the reader and Jinx met when she snuck onto one of the blimps, going to Ionia. Anyway, reader is from Ionia and worked making deliveries to Piltover, Noxus, etc, etc. She knew of Jinx through small mentions of the people in small town, though instead of wanting to imprison her, like most of the people in Piltover would've wanted... she welcomed her, gave her a place to stay, and with that, the small community near reader's home, helped her heal. I don't know how accurate this is to League lore ig? But bare with me okay I've never touched the game once in my life 😭
Jinx wasn't the easiest person to love, but that didn't make it impossible. There were moments of distance, where Jinx would push you away, needed time to herself to think, and to process. But it was never very long until you'd find her, sat beside a gentle stream of water, her bare feet dipped under the crystal liquid.
Her smoky pink eyes dulled, and for a moment they almost seemed a subtle shade of blue. You caught yourself gazing it her, like a moth to a flame, but at this point, who wouldn't? To see someone who was always on some sort of edge, some sort of high, so... calm. It was a sight to see. She was dressed in a long maxi skirt, it was one you'd given to her to borrow, and yet she'd never given it back; though, you didn't mind. Over it, was a cloak. Slightly ripped, but you'd helped her stitch, and patch it back to a comfortable state. And her hair, over the years had grown a decent amount, now fallen just past her collarbone. "How long are you going to stare for...?" Jinx murmured, her eyes lifting to meet yours. Her expression was unreadable, and yet still the furthest thing from the broken look it used to hold. You felt your face heat up a little, a gentle crimson colour freckling over the tips of your ears, and brushing over the end of your nose. "Ah, sorry." You chuckle, a noticeable tremble in your voice. You sat beside her with a small smile, inviting yourself down onto the soft grass. A couple flowers folding under you. Jinx hummed, her lips tugging upward for a moment as she shrugged, and yet her eyes remained blank and barren. "What's got you in such a go-lucky mood?" Jinx inquired, cupping her hands and scooping up some water from the stream, dipping her head and rinsing it through her side bang.. washing out some old paint. The kids here loved to pester her, which usually ended in them convincing her to do their face paint. And to no surprise, always resulted in mess. "Me? Nothing," You giggle, turning your gaze to the small town in the distance. "Just... happy you're fitting in." You finish, turning to look back at Jinx. Jinx met your glance, her bang falling over her face in a kind of fringe... She ran her slender hand through it, moving the blue locks out of her vision. "You think so...?" Jinx asked; though, in place of her usual teasing manner, was a sincere question. "Oh yeah, the kids love you." You answer without having to think. You didn't hesitate, not even for a second. And it was certainly not a lie. Although Jinx's rough past, she'd made a huge difference here in this side of Ionia. A good difference. Jinx had helped you deliver cargo to Noxus, and stayed back to help harvest whatever was necessary when you'd go to Piltover. She'd use her old skills in tinkering to make toys for the children, little wind up monkeys, or even as far as vibrant face paints for special events. Children practically swarmed around her in the holidays. and despite Jinx's awkwardness around them, she still managed to have a soft spot for their playful tendencies. It was a welcomed change, Jinx was healing. "Oh," Jinx blinked, even after all those little moments of connection with the community here. She'd never considered they actually... liked her. You gave her an affectionate nudge on the shoulder, a shit eating grin on your face. "You're doing good, I'm proud of you." You mutter, your tone was softer now— as if to prove your words held truth. Jinx's brows furrowed, and her eyes remained fixated on the water that lapped over her ankles. Yet, before she could muster the words to respond to the praise; you pressed a kiss to her cheek. A chaste show of your love; something still fresh between you two, but more than obvious by now. Jinx went a little rigid, but quickly relaxed. A soft heat forming over her cheeks. She'd never admit how much these moments meant to her. Her and her sanity.
I hope this was okay! I really enjoy writing my version of Jinx. And I hope you enjoyed reading about her! Let me know if you have any requests or questions! My inbox is always open <3
- Owl 🌹
#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#arcane#Jinx#Get Jinxed#jinx#Jinx Ionia#Jinxs2#Arcane season 2 spoilers#Arcanes2#League of Legends#Jinx x reader#Jinx x Ionia#jinx league of legends#LoL#Jinx au#Arcane au#I love jinx sm 😭#She's deserving of love 🙏#@honestlyanowl
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Ok so quick warning: this whole post is basically me rambling because I desperately need to get this out of my system, so I apologize in advance for the possible lack of coherency.
The topic I really want to talk about is Silco's funeral. I've been thinking about it since s2 ep2 came out and I've never really been able to come to a definitive opinion on it. It's honestly a very beautiful and atmospheric scene (without the constant flashbacks to past episodes of course because writers don't Actually know Why the flashbacks are sometimes shown on screen) and at first glance it seems like the perfect send-off for Silco...but it kept bugging me. It bugged me and bugged me and bugged me, kept me up at night, mocking me for the confusing feelings I had towards it. I've been walking in circles in my very personal torture chamber, all up until today. Like. I think it was literally 30 minutes ago (at the time of me writing this sentence). I finally figured out (at least) 5 reasons why I don't like this scene (and the very fact of its existence) the way I do, why it bothers me so much that I can't sleep.
CONTENT WARNING: DROWNING AND ITS OUTCOMES
Reason №1: the uncomfortable, the bad and the ugly.
So uhhhhhhh....I haven't seen literally anyone talking about it but uhhhhhh....you guys. Know what happens to dead bodies when they're placed in the water, right?...They um. They DO sink at first but then uh. Then they resurface and they uh. They look way Way WAY worse than before. Um. It doesn't happen with all of them, but the absolute majority does eventually resurface. We don't know if Silco's body will actually be able to resurface due to extreme pollution of the Pilt, but this is still a very possible outcome. And needles to say, this is a very cruel fate for any character really, and especially for Silco. He had to struggle with deformity and the consequences of Piltover's exploitation his whole life, so to have his body being even more deformed due to being in the water, and toxic water no less, is well..........Listen. I believe in the artistic thought devoid of real-life context as much as the next person, but Silco is Too realistically written for that. I can't do that to him. And I don't want anybody else to do it to him either. Call me overdramatic, but I can't possibly help it. I don't want him to go in a way he doesn't deserve to.
Reason №2: muh theeeeemes
The general consensus for Silco being buried in the water is that it suits his character thematically. He's always associated with water, his trauma is connected to water, the weapon his daughter made in his honor is literally water animal-shaped etc etc. He's the Posidon of Arcane itself, if you really think about it. And while I absolutely 100% see the point, I don't necessarily agree that this is enough of a reason to bury him in water. While Silco is undoubtedly a water-themed character first, he's also very closely connected to earth as well. Think about it. Where did Silco work in the past? In the mines. Where the dream of Zaun he dedicated his entire life to turning into reality was born? In the mines. Think about this as the 2/3 of the water circulation process. The rain goes into the ground and then into the underground waters, which are then become a part of rivers/seas/etc. Earth and water are interconnected in the most intimate sense, so burying Silco in the ground instead of the water wouldn't actually be a thematic "betrayal" as it may seem at first.
Reason №3: the trauma
Once again, sorry for the incoherency, I just don't know in which order I need to put these points out. Well, anyway. If we remember Silco's monolog at the start of s1 ep3 he describes his experience during the drowning as water talking to him, and his subconscious asking him "Have you had enough?" on the other side. Imo, this is a very important detail, because it shows us the starking contrast between the trauma and the burial. When Silco was being drowned, he could hear, think, and decide, while during the latter everything the water was whispering fell unto deaf ears. Silco couldn't hear what it was telling him, couldn't feel the way the water (or Jinx) was holding him, couldn't hear that important question, couldn't decide his fate. So, placing him into the water after his death kinda feels like taking away his agency and his choice away, as not even for a second in his life did he ever stop trying to get out of said water. Constantly reliving the same trauma over and over again, stabbing and cutting Vander (and Piltover) countless of times, desperately catching air with his mouth. And you know what is the most important part of this flashback? We never actually see Silco get to the shore, to safety. And while Silco claims that there's peace in water, this peace is very clearly illusory, as he never really came to associate water with it. Earth, on the other hand, does have peace in it, because this is where people finally get to rest and truly get away from the world and its problems. Also (at least from what we know) earth in Zaun isn't polluted, unlike the water. So, I think giving Silco actual peace would only be possible by burying him in the ground.
Reason №4: choose your fighter - Zaun vs Piltover (only losers choose Piltover btw)
There was also a point about how different death is in Zaun and Piltover. In Piltover you get an actual burial, a proper ceremony, a grave and a headstone at the cemetery etc etc, while in Zaun you just. Die. That's it. Your body can be taken away by anyone, dumped anywhere, no ceremonies whatsoever, no headstone no nothing. You'll be heck of a lucky guy if you get even a small mural somewhere (like the Firelights do), but otherwise you just. Dissappear. And your loved ones never actually get the chance to say a proper goodbye or mourn you. So, in that sense, in "canonical" s2 Silco died like a true Zaunite, his only trace in the world being his office in The Last Drop. But isn't it kinda an antithesis to everything he was fighting for tho? Silco wanted for Zaunites to have what Piltover has, proper burials and cemeteries included, and while he didn't get there by the slightest of margins, I think it would be a beautiful symbolism if Jinx and Sevika and possibly somebody else buried him "properly", showing us that they'll finish what he started. I took properly in quotation marks because it doesn't have to be a traditional funeral as we saw with Cassandra. Because Zaun is anything but traditional, and Silco loved this with all his heart, even if to a fault. So, Silco's death and funeral could've been a symbol of a new era for Zaun, and while it's was going to be different from anything before that, it's still a step forward towards Zaun's liberation and progress. A True progress.
Reason №5: STORY PROGRESSION AND CHARACTER DEVELOMPENT WHWOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEEEAAH BABYYYYYYYY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
Jinx and Sevika never communicated on how Jinx killed Silco and it's WRONG (loud buzzer along with vine boom effect). Silco was not only a boss to Sevika, but clearly a very important person in her life and someone she saw Zaun's future in. While their relationship did sour during the events of the show, it was only a fraction of what we saw of them and wasn't representative of their overall dynamic. In fact, I think that the said souring (?) could've been a good punch in the gut for her. Think about it. Literally earlier that very same day Sevika could've killed Silco herself, but now she has to face what his death ACTUALLY means to her. *Harry Osborn from spider-man 3 impression* So good. And the fact that he was killed by JINX of all people. Mmmmm oughhh!! Even better. But remember kids! Dead bodies decay really fast, so Sevika and Jinx have to put their differences aside to say goodbye to someone they both loved. Bonus points if because of this they become emotionally vulnerable in front of each other for the first time ever or in many Many years. "But secret-71845th-thing, this literally happened in s2 ep2!" ya. There should've been more.
Also on the topic of gut punches. I really loved how Jinx and Sevika talked to Silco's chair, showing how they couldn't really cope with his death and still desperately wanted him to turn around in it and ramble his usual boring speeches to them. But you know what could've been even better? If at the end they finally came to talk to his grave, accepting that he's no longer here, but caring about him and remembering him all the same.
Welp, it was sure a long post *audience laugh track playing on the background*. It took me *checks my non-existent wristwatch* about 3 hours to write. Talk about jobless behavior hahahaha.....(please hire me I want money/hj). There's a high chance that I have forgotten to say something, but I'll simply add it to a reblog because I don't actually bother rewriting this post besides spelling checks. Uuuuh yeah. *scratching my head* *crickets* Oh yeah, will gladly hear out your opinions on this topic, so be very welcome to reblog and comment 🫶🫶 If you'll be civil, of course. My house is only for cozy haters, toxic haters are strictly prohibited.
Edit: "#dw babygirl I'll steal your body and commit horrible atrocities to bring you back🫶🫶" <-- *points at myself* Am I?..... Singed??.......
#as we say in Ukrainian twitter: wow. look how much i pissed#(it's a Very rough translation lol)#ugh Silco I can talk about you for years#i still get a mental breakdown when i see literally anything connected to him because i still can't accept he's dead:( my shaylaaaaaa#dw babygirl i'll steal your body and commit horrible atrocities to bring you back🫶🫶#arcane#silco arcane#jinx arcane#sevika arcane#silco and jinx#arcane season 2#arcane critical
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This was another reminder to actually put myself together and get my story written, so thank you @mjparkerwriting for tagging me!
I shall be using my yet to be properly introduced, or planned, or actually started story idea, How to be the Perfect Daughter (working title)! The idea is that in the process of answering these questions, I'll figure out more of the story, so without much further ado-
What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?
I'm still not sure how to put it into precise words, but I'm playing around with the idea of "the ability to define yourself/choose your future/live your life gets increasingly difficult if the context you're in doesn't really let you do that" or something like that. Currently, anyway. Definitely liable to change at some point, lol
I didn't necessarily choose it, but rather, it's kind of the culmination of a couple of years of mulling over this story idea and changing as a person and the idea becoming more than just a way for me to vent out my frustrations and anger
What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?
The real world. My own life experiences, as sparse as they are, lol. Childhood rage from lockdown
What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?
Daughter wants to be seen as more than just that, more than just a second mother or a soon to be wife despite her entire culture kind of telling her otherwise.
With her, I'm trying to achieve some kind of catharsis. Maybe show people that the proverbial glass ceiling is sometimes there, and sometimes sucks, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't make the most of what is beneath that ceiling
How many chapters is your story going to have?
I'm not sure. If you couldn't already tell, I'm barely even on the planning stage XD
Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?
Original content! I hope to publish it some day, though I think I wouldn't mind if I just posted it somewhere on the internet and called it a day
When did you start writing?
The earliest time I can remember that wasn't school assignments was probably around 2018/2019. I had recently discovered fanfiction and had stumbled across the wonderful realisation that I could write my own!
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
As much as I'm pretty much just reiterating what's already been said;
your writing is a lot better than you think it is, so keep on at it!
write out your ideas and your hopes and all the vibes you want to incorporate into your story
write away your fears and insecurities and the stagnation that wants to settle
write whatever your head won't let you forget and the aches that linger in your heart
but just make sure that you write
I remember a really cool analogy that I saw somewhere here that went something like;
your words and works and WIPs that you write down are like seeds you plant in a garden;
sometimes they won't always come out looking the best;
they may not be vibrant or fruitful or even very pretty
but because you planted them, and when the time comes for them to die,
they'll make for excellent fertiliser for the next batch of seeds
and you best believe after all your hard work with the first batch
the next one will turn out much, much better
and the one after that, and forever
so make sure you plant your seeds!
Gently tagging: @the-ellia-west @the-stray-storyteller @aalinaaaaaa @hero-coded
@blackwood4stucky @bebewrites @hayatheauthor @agirlandherquill
@ashwithapen @friendlyshaped @dendotdrabbles @cupandquillcafe
and of course, any other writer who's interested!
author ask tag
Thank you @the-inkwell-variable for tagging me. I had to think hard on these answers.
I'll use my current WIP for this. It was once called TLBH. Now, its WotG. We will see if it changes again.
What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?
I think the main lesson would be that there's always something bigger than you, and sometimes you have to decide whether or not that something is great enough for you to change as a person. My characters go through and will continue to go through a lot. They are constantly tested and while some of them rise above it all--no question about it, others struggle with every step. Some are never able to stand up at all.
What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?
I used the real world as inspiration. I really like history and religion, so I studied tons of cultures and languages and historical events. I have a lot of mythology, history, and religion/philosophy books and links saved because I'm just so fascinated with how everyone sees and understands things differently.
What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?
It is multiple POV, but without giving away too much, I’d say that every character is searching for purpose and acceptance in one way or another. I think I, as the writer, want to show how motivations change as we change as people, and that's okay. I want to tell a story that inspires people to love, change, fight, and live.
How many chapters is your story going to have?
I'm currently looking at a series with five books total. This first story will have 35-36 chapters.
Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?
All OG. I want to publish traditionally, but we'll see what happens.
When did you start writing?
Since I could string together semi complex thoughts and also hold a pencil lol. I've always liked writing. I started writing fanfics some time in high school, maybe around age 15. If you want to get technical, though, my first fanfiction was in elementary school and it was about young Jack Sparrow before he became THEE Jack Sparrow.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
WRITE! Who cares if you think it's ass?
Write the story you always wanted to read but could never find.
Talk to other writers. Make friends. It can be very lonely, but having people that understand what you're doing and are also going through the same process is helpful.
I'm still working on the last one.
I follow a ton of writers on here, so I think I'll tag a bunch of people just for the hell of it.
@frantheram @mrbexwrites @stargazingdustbunny @marsh0mallows99th @cwritesfiction @writingamongther0ses @paintedbutton @inkednotebook @lukas-wrld @writinglittlebeasts @vicwriting @kae-luna @the-orangeauthor @kckramer @ghost-type-writer @phynewrites @wildswrites @jamieanovels @tabswrites
#writeblr#writeblr ask game#writing advice#tag game#how to be the perfect daughter#I am going to sit down and do the thing#because the thing has been put on the backburner for too long
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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PAGLUIB
way back in like. march?? I took a stab at writing some kind of kabitserye type of story but it was a mess: it kept veering off into murder mystery drama territory because I was reading a lot of murder mystery novels around then and it Wasn't Good because I hadn't tried writing mysteries, let alone murder mysteries, before lmao
I did write a handful of short mystery stories since then, so next year I might take a stab at this idea again now that I'm no longer jumping head first into a genre pool I don't know how to swim in :)
#now for the part where i have to fight off the impulse to write in some b movie horror elements because ive been thinking about#reanimator a lot lately. ehghghh. thank god for the editing process. to wrangle my thoughts into a linear state of creating#anyway i read an article. interview? on the popularity of infidelity dramas in the philippines and it was poetry to me#and i also enjoy the really intense social melodrama in lino brocka's films. specifically the appearance of morality to cover up/justify#ugly behavior. or like. man i'm tired. whatever was going on in murder by tsismis. that's the thing. someday i'll get more into it#and post excerpts from the actual analysis of the film that actually explains the dynamic im talking around here#komiks tag#original tag#also there's some. vague lingering thought about ikaw lamang in here. not in a way that matters#but in a 'the first episode that i saw was not the first episode of the drama itself and it made me go. oh everyone has rotten vibes'#which is not. well. if you saw ikaw lamang then you know the characters. this is not the takeaway from the show. HOWEVER#i did invent a whole different show in my head between that and when the next episode aired. so.#fake ikaw lamang. ikaw lamang if it wasn't even remotely like ikaw lamang. on the topic of ikaw lamang here's a cringe story for you#still following along. BEFORE i had watched the show. i saw a notebook with franco on it but i didn't recognize the character#i just saw jake in a suit and went oh! cool! i will now Buy This!#anyway i still have the notebook lmao
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]
Post invasion, Leo is fine.
More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!
Leo really is better in the ways that matter.
He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.
Raph even said he was proud of Leo!
So obviously things are going well.
But.
It’s not enough.
Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.
So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.
_____
His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.
Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.
Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.
He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.
_____
Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.
But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.
So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.
He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.
See, the invasion made him realize something.
It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.
So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.
He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.
Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.
And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.
_____
This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.
He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.
The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.
It’s easy enough to teleport on by.
Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.
When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.
“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”
“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”
And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.
He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.
_____
His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.
But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.
When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.
He got a bit more banged up that time around.
“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”
“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”
Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.
Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.
So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.
His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.
He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.
“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”
Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.
He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.
_____
Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.
He’s gotta go again.
Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.
“You must stop, Pepino.”
“But I can do better-“
“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”
“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”
He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.
He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.
_____
Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.
He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.
It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!
But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.
He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.
_____
So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.
The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.
Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.
Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.
Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.
Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.
It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.
He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.
…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.
Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.
Not a kid.
_____
Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”
He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.
He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.
Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.
Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.
Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.
“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.
“Pepino…”
“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”
“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.
Leo feels unmoored. “I-“
“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”
And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.
He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.
Instead, he passes out.
_____
The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.
He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.
And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.
All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.
“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.
He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.
All the parts they didn’t need.
And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.
Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-
No.
No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.
“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”
“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.
“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.
“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”
Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”
“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”
“YES I AM!”
The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.
The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.
“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“
Then what was all this for?
Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.
“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”
“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”
“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“
“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”
“But- but I’m doing this for you-“
“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.
“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.
“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”
Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.
He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”
He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.
“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”
Leo’s breath hitches.
“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”
“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”
And-
Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rise fanfic#WHOOPS#did not mean to write all this#my only regret is not including April#anyway I was like wow Leo sure is acting different at the end of the movie huh#then I thought hey he’s actually acting a lot like previous iterations of Leo rn#then I ran with it and tripped down the stairs in the process#thus this was born!#I am tired so more tags later#but dang oops a bit too angsty gotta do smth lighthearted soon huh#also yes he DOES go back and apologize for putting Hueso through so much#he gets a smack on the head and a head pat immediately after#‘don’t do it again Pepino - not until I finally get the Maze shut down’ ‘okay wait what-‘
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The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 37
Ep 00 || < Prev || Next >
Read the next four episodes on Patreon || support me on ko-fi~✨
#the housecat philosophy#artists on tumblr#original comic#webcomic#original art#my sketches#ah i love writing sal and lu in the same place#can't wait to get deeper into them they have probably the most ridiculous relationship i've ever made up#anyway as a psa#i was actually hoping to post this one with an announcement that the comic was finally on webtoon but!!#the process of prepping it for the site is turning out to be surprisingly long ????#apparently my meant to be read top to bottom comic is too meant to be read top to bottom for the read top to bottom site#i've drawn panels that were nearly too long for the max length allowed by the site hahaha........#wow cropping strip 38 is gonna be a nightmare#ANYWAY just to let you all know im working on it#who would have thought letting 37 strips pile up would mean having 37x the work to do not me that's for sure#i absolutely did not call this upon myself in no way whatsoever
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just thinking about trent having an embarrassing twitter account that's like, idk, priv and/or just like an anonymous jokey account sort of thing and it regularly tweets things like "The weighted blanket is not enough. i need a man to lay on top of me horizontally and crush me to death. lovingly." and "Just made finger guns at my crush instead of doing what I intended to do, which was apologize. I think maybe I should be shot into the sun?" and "Sorry for being rude. I got anxious and scared. It will happen again" and "'Not all men' you're right. Ted Lasso would never do this to me" <- everyone assumes that's a general celebrity crush/just a joke about a famously really nice guy and like, coach beard actually likes/retweets it so it goes mildly viral and trent is like. This Is Fine. most people assume that this account is run by like, a female tumblr user in her late twenties. no. this is a middle-aged single father and no one realizes this until he tweets something like "My ex-wife just set me up with a man who looks exactly like my straight crush, but worse. You know, because she's evil, and also the funniest person alive. anyway guess who i ran into on the date" or "i am a single middle-aged father and i only JUST NOW found out i have autism. My parents knew when I was three." which is then updated by "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EX WIFE KNEW TOO" (she thought it was kind of a given) only to confuse them again when he mentions that time he was pregnant
#and then someone from work discovers it's him and is like TRENT???? TRENT CRIMM???#im picturing this is like late s1 to post canon and it just gets increasingly... something. like there is a process occurring#trent crimm#tedependent#actually way funnier but also way more embarrassing to the point i literally couldnt write it out of sheer secondhand embarrassment#is crack scenario wherein trent running some fucking hornyposting ted lasso account#picturing this started as an extremely drunk ''''''joke'''''''' where he created it (pfp is a blurry photo of him in the press room that#NO. trent did NOT take. and it has a rainbow filter) and then was like#'[picture of ted with his sleeves rolled up or smth] i wan t him to get mre pregnan t'#and then people thought it was really funny and also got several 'same brother' replies etc and now trent's in hell.#at least no one knwos it's him!!!! 🙃#ANYWAY back to the first scenario just think its very funny he accidentally becomes#a hashtag relatable meme funnyman or whatever and it's anonymous so no one knows it's Trent Crimm Middle-Aged Journalist#ALSO TRANS TRENT CRIMM LIKE ALL MY POSTS SUCKERS!!!#gertspeak
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : memories
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#vargastober#vargastober2024#HELLLO#HELLO HELLO IM EUPHORIC . GOD#it ended up looking even better than i expected !!!!! hhhell yeah !!!!!!!!#i'm like LOOK GUYS ( pointing at the screen ( I MADE THIS#i had to work on this one yesterday actually#i won't be home today . so i had to make sure i could actually get this one posted on time#it's currently 3:40AM . this will be posted idk at 1PM#i need to write a whole entry of the process but i didn't take any screenshots of it . great#i banged this one like in 5 hours . LIMITED TIME#NO TIME TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS OR WRITE NOTES#anyway don't want to talk too much here . I ENJOYED WORKING ON THIS ONE#vargas#scriabin vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin#zarla s#sunny's art#I HAVE A BUNCH OF EDGAR / JAKE DOODLES AND I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO POST THEM RIGHT NOW#two posts in a day is that too much#i'll save them for later . maybe i can make more in the meantime
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Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.
you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.
the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!
but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.
you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.
you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.
"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.
"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.
"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.
"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.
"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.
#remember when I said in my lion bkg tags that I would write that long fic#sorry but I lied 😔#idk its been so hard to write long fics for me lately!!#I thought it would be better since the brunt of everything in my life has passed#but the creative energy isn't all the way there yet#so I won't rush the process of it!!! when I let it come to me I typically bang out like#3-5 fics in two weeks lol so im waiting for that feeling#but anyway!!! I love trainer character aus they're so seggsy#also I had to throw in eiji sorry what else could I have done#NOT put him in this somehow???? I don't think so#okay bye im gonna write another Drabble ive had in my drafts for a few weeks now LOL#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬#also has anyone ever actually experienced a coregasm before??? I saw it on insta and was amazed LOL#I need to start working on my core more to get one lol if im LUCKY
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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